We may have different ideas about what attachment is. I agree that feeling bonded to another is a beautiful and meaningful experience. We are wired to bond because we need each other. The type of attachment I’m writing about here is when we derive some part of our identity from a partner or other person we love. It’s when, in addition to deep feelings of love and care, we also have needs and expectations that need to be met in order for us to be okay. The alternative that I’m proposing is to love without those conditions.